10 Golden Rules Of Sugar Baby
The trouble with becoming a sugar baby is that you have no one to talk you through the basic sugar baby rules to keep you safe. You can’t ask your mom for dating tips or gossip with your friends unless they’re into sugar life, too. Online dating or traditional dating advice doesn’t work for a sugar relationship with no strings attached. To give you a better idea of what to expect and how to navigate such a relationship, we share the tried-and-true rules of being a sugar baby.
#1 Know what you’re getting into with sugar dating
As you’re reading sugar baby rules, you’re obviously on the right track to checking this item off the list. Sugar dating has become popular in the last decade, but its perception is still unbalanced—while some believe sugar babies are no different from sex workers, others romanticize the industry and sugar relationships.
The reality of sugar dating is somewhere in between. The social contract between older successful men, sugar daddies, and younger women, sugar babies, implies an exchange of romantic or sexual services for money. But it’s up to you to decide how much money you want to receive and what you’re willing to do in exchange. Do not treat such a relationship as regular dating.
#2 Set clear sugar dating goals
When you first become a sugar baby, it’s easier to treat it like a job and set “career goals”. Take your time and decide how many men you want to date at a time. Choose between casual sex after the first date and a long-term sugar relationship. Consider your target monthly allowance and bonuses you wish to receive. You may not meet your sugar dating objectives a week after signing up for sugar dating sites or on your first date, but having clear goals will help you stay focused and negotiate the conditions you want.
Realistic and achievable goals for a perfect sugar baby may include:
- Monthly allowance of over $1,500
- Clothes, lingerie, and makeup expenses covered
- Regular expensive gifts, flowers, etc.
- Romantic weekend getaways
- Weekly trips to upscale restaurants and clubs
However, you need to understand that not all sugar relationships are the same, and this list may differ.
#3 Develop a sugar baby persona
Becoming a sugar baby is more than creating a few accounts across all the best sugar daddy sites. First, you need to think of a persona to separate your personal life from sugar dating experiences. You can play a sugar girl next door, a socialite, a tomboy, or any other persona you feel comfortable donning a few times a week. You can try to develop different personas for various sugar dating sites, but they can be hard to keep up with.
Once you settle on your real-life sugar baby role, fill your online profile with photos and videos that showcase your new persona. And remember to stick to the appropriate tone when chatting on the best sugar daddy sites or during phone calls. Your consistent online dating performance will make you a successful sugar baby and attract many sugar daddies to your profile.
#4 Be ready to negotiate consent and agency
In the previous rules of sugar dating, we’ve established that only you get to decide what types of favors you’re willing to do for your sugar daddy in exchange for financial support. Unfortunately, many sugar daddies believe a good sugar baby is always ready for sex. This expectation may lead you to think you’re obliged to become intimate even if you don’t want to. The blurring of consent is a typical sugar relationship issue.
As a new sugar baby, you should exercise agency and negotiate the terms of your sugar relationship at the onset to ensure you’re on the same page with your sugar partner. No amount of money is worth giving up your consent and having regrets for the rest of your life. If a potential sugar daddy expects you to do something you’re not ready for, look for another partner who will respect your wishes.
#5 Manage your expectations for sugar dating
Most college girls in Canada, the UK, and the US get into sugar dating to pay off student loans. Still, you need to be realistic about the allowance sugar daddies are willing to pay. For example, some men may take you to fancy restaurants, cover your clothes expenses, and lavish you with gifts but not provide a considerable monthly allowance. So don’t expect your first sugar daddy to pay off your student loans after one date.
It’s also dangerous to treat sugar relationships as something they are not. Sugar daddy is not your boyfriend, fiance, or husband, and he is unlikely ever to become one. So don’t daydream about wedding bells and engagement rings, even if you’ve been with the sugar daddy for a few months or even years.
#6 Stay safe
Most sugar babies use condoms less often than women having casual sex but more often than those in romantic relationships. And while sugar babies are six times more likely to be tested for STIs, they are also twice more likely to be diagnosed with STIs. Younger women who feel they have more control of sugar relationships use condoms with their sugar daddies more often.
Regardless of your sugar baby persona, you must set the rules of a mutually beneficial relationship upfront to protect yourself and your sugar partners from unpleasant surprises. While most men detest condoms, there’s no way to guarantee your relationship is exclusive, so sex without a condom is dangerous for both parties.
Of course, you don’t want to lose a sugar daddy to an argument about condoms, but think about this: If you spend all the money you get from your sugar daddy on dealing with an STI, what’s the point?
#7 Take care of your mental health
Few sugar babies realize the toll a sugar relationship can have on their mental health. Many sugar babies note negative and judgmental treatment when seen with their sugar daddies. As a result, some girls report feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and depression which may evolve into severe mental health issues.
If you feel emotionally exhausted, anxious, or depressed at any moment in your sugar relationship, think about the causes of these unhealthy conditions. You might need to stop seeing a sugar daddy causing them. Alternatively, you can get your sugar daddy to cover therapy costs to help you overcome the adverse effects of sugar dating and restore your mental health.
#8 Learn to deal with internal and external judgment
Social isolation can become your reality as a sugar baby once you share your lifestyle choices with your friends and family. Some may not support your sugar dating and start treating you like a sex worker. Unfortunately, you cannot always control who knows about your lifestyle, and you need to have a response ready for potential negative comments.
Like the previous sugar daddy relationship rules, internal judgment can also become a problem. Sugar dating blurs the line between romantic relationships and sex work. As a result, some sugar babies feel like they are selling sex for money, which may go against their moral and religious values. If you’re aware of the potential judgment, you can develop solid reasoning to appease your internal critic and others condemning you for being a sugar baby.
#9 Have a backup plan
Sugar daddy relationships can last from a single date to several months or years. And although sugar babies exercise agency and can initiate the breakup, men hold financial power. So there’s no telling when your sugar daddy decides to stop seeing you and switch to another sugar partner. And you can’t expect him to give you a two-week notice to make alternative arrangements of your own.
Even if you don’t wish to date more than one sugar daddy at a time, you need to establish some financial insurance. It can be an alternative partner you’ve been chatting with online or a small savings account to keep you afloat while you’re looking for a new sugar daddy.
#10 Know when to take a break
When you sign up for a sugar dating site, it’s not a job or a contract. So if you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or burnt out, you can take a break to recharge, restore balance, and go back to regular dating for a while. You don’t even have to break things off with your sugar daddies; some can be very understanding and will happily restart your relationship when you decide to resume sugar dates.
And if you decide you’ve had enough of sugar daddies, that’s alright, too. It’s your life, and you should do what makes you happy.
What did we miss?
We tried to cover every eventuality in these 10 golden rules of sugar baby, from your first curious attempts at sugar daddy sites to potential mental and physical health issues. But, of course, every sugar baby has a unique experience, and you may need to add a few custom rules to our list, so feel free to share your thoughts and advice.